Having lost faith in our Nation's ability to keep God's message alive and fresh in the past year, Jesusland is now reinvigorated by John McCain's inevitable election/nomination. In the following video, he reaffirms the beliefs of our constituency, that we are a Christian Nation ONLY.

As an inspiration to our brave soldiers fighting for the Christian/American cause overseas, a loyal Jesusland constituent sent in this proposend amendment of the Statue of Liberty. We at Jesusland feel this new version would be a suitable replacement to the French-created monstrosity currently occupying Ellis Island.

And the music keeps rolling in! Faithful Jesuslander David Ippolito recently sent us this magnificent Jesusland song, a testament to his faith and devotion to Jesusland. Mr. Ippolito's song can also be found on his website.
We welcome all Jesuslanders to send us their recording and hymns demonstrating their devotion to this great land. We will also accept video submissions, particularly those filmed with a night vision camera.

We've recently received some exciting feedback from several Jesusland constituents. A devout Jesuslander recently send in a song of faith and glory, click here to download this lovely song. An equally keen Jesus-loving man send us this photo comparing Jesusland to a perennial hairstyle worn by many of our citizens. And finally, a few kind other people wrote into us here at the Administration, providing us with valuable new feedback.

It has been an extremely busy week here at Jesusland, tallying up ballots, chads, and hands. The mail-in vote turned out to be a big factor, with over 40% of all ballots being mailed in. And the new official voting method, "show of hands", has been a resounding success, cutting election costs by 18%. Click here to view election results

We are busy counting the election results for our cabinet positions, with almost all dioceses and counties reporting. We have an unbelievable 112% turnout this year, so it looks to be an interesting race. Please stay tuned for final results, to be reported tomorrow depending on the number of mail-in Christmas card ballots.

In the interest of maintaining a strong relationship with areas outside of Jesusland (aka the Rest of the World), we are working on a new world map. We discovered this map while scouring our archives, and welcome any feedback on its revision.

We have launched a new initiative in order to keep our homeland safe, faith-loving, and free of blasphemy. Our Department of Faith and Homeland Defense will be providing us with daily updates of the level of blasphemy within our blessed land, in order that we can take corrective action to redeem ourselves in the Lord's eyes. Jesuslanders should be vigilant, take notice of their surroundings, and report suspicious activities to local authorities immediately. Please refer to the easy-to-read advisory chart to determine the appropriate level of worship and/or penance.

Our blessed forums have arrived, and are now ready for your use. Posts pertaining to values and faith are encouraged. Please, no dissenters.

We have received reports from our operatives that there are several maps of Jesusland circulating on the internet, each purporting to be "official". While we can neither confirm nor deny the official nature of any map, the people of Jesusland should rest assured that we have top Christian cartographers from across our land working on this issue.

What's a fledgeling crypto-fascist theocracy without a national anthem? Our finest Christian anthem-meisters have fasted and prayed, and, with God's help, have penned the following inspirational ditty. Without further ado, the official, focus group-approved Jesusland national anthem, specially designed to strike fear into the hearts of our enemies whilst making the countenances of our citizenry beam with pride!


Here at Jesusland.com we have a motto: "Nothing is written in stone except the Ten Commandments". If the Good Lord inspires you with a holier anthem than the above, do send it in and it will be anointed thusly.

Only 8 days after the U.S. presidential election opened its womb and gave Jesusland to the world, the official government web site of Jesusland, Jesusland.com, has launched. Praise be to Jesus, and His dedicated followers, our God-fearing civil servants, who have overcome sleeplessness, hunger, and temptation to bring you the latest from the former red states. Stay tuned for further revelations as God's glorious plan for Jesusland unfolds!